Broken Beyond Repair
by Doomedphsyx2030
Summary: Challange of Big Time Rush. He needed someone, anyone to pull him out of the darkness he created for protection just so he could bask in sunlight and feel loved again. But he was broken, a hollow shell picking up the pieces of himself while pretending everything was perfectly fine in his life. How long could he keep pretending when his whole life was crashing around his feet? Mpreg
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Today is finally the day! YAY! Lol anyway, hey guys this is my story for the 'Challenge Of Big Time Rush', an idea that came from the brilliant mind of iNDahh (sorry if I spelt your name wrong) who thought of this idea. I couldn't say no to doing a fanfic, especially with Mpreg, something that I've never really tried to do! I asked her if I could put up my story earlier, but nope, soooo I had to wait until today to put it up. So this is my attempt of Mpreg!

I hope that more people will join in with this story, or at least read some of the stories that will be published by authors!

This story involves Mpreg ;)

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Unknown p.o.v

He watched his blond little angel sleeping in the bed next to him, Kendall's figure curled into the smallest ball his long legs could allow right up to his chin, the blond hair tousled around the pillow as a cruel and sick smile pulling up the edges of the person's lips as he watched Kendall Knight sleep, Kendall's eyebrows knitted together, small, helpless whimpers escaped his cherry red lips as he slept. He couldn't help but watch as the blond flinch away from something in his dream, broken sentences, none making any sense because he sounded like a small toddler just learning to speak, flowed from his lips in a frantic hurry to plead with someone to stay away from him, to not do the things that he was dreaming about. He was desperate to know what Kendall was dreaming of, hoping that it was him and the beautiful moment that they had shared moments ago, beads of sweat dampening the beautiful blond locks that swept over his forehead, almost hiding the dazzling bright green eyes that stared back at him while they were making love. So many emotion had shot through those green eyes, but they had disappeared as soon as they arrived, replaced by fear, but the person had enjoyed every moment that they had together, the memories would be locked forever in his memory to be replayed when he needed a release, but maybe he could get Kendall alone once again, and that though made his member harden once again, becoming uncomfortable in between his legs. He almost grabbed the member, but thought against it, because it wouldn't be as fun if Kendall was not helping him

"Good night my darling" he cooed in Kendall's ear, pressing a kiss to his temple. He snuggled closer to Kendall's warm body

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

Kendall woke up screaming at the top of his lungs, jolting himself awake immediately and shooting up from the pillow of his bed, the covers falling from his chest and making him cold. But the coldness was nothing between the horrid feeling he was experiencing below his belt, a pain that was scorching hot and uncomfortable as he was still sat up in bed, an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room.

The room was completely different from his shared room with James, it seemed darker in atmosphere and immediately making Kendall shiver in disgust, the room only drowned in darkness, making it difficult to see what was around the room. Anything could have been in the room, a load of people sleeping on the floor after a long hour of sex, Kendall couldn't be sure what happened last night, only that it couldn't be good at all, his mind was blank about what happened, and no matter how much he strained to remember, nothing came back to Kendall. A low moan came from his right side, and for a moment Kendall thought that it was James lying next to him after having a bad night, but as he turned his head, he froze in horror, but not one hundred percent sure why he froze at the image he saw, his body giving him a sign that he really should have taken better notice of, but his mind was still whirling, completely staying blank and refusing to acknowledge his body's pleas to move, get out of the bed and run as fast as he could back to the apartment and into James' safe arms, but he didn't move an inch. Kendall was stuck staring at the figure and trying to remember what was so bad about last night, why his body was screaming at him to run, but his hands gripping the silk sheets of the bed, stopping him until he got an explanation

It was not James who was lying practically naked in a completely different bed than he was used to, this was another person that Kendall instantly recognised. The covers were draped only across his legs, the person who was lying in the bed was completely naked, and so was Kendall when he braved a look under the covers with a shaking hand, slowly lifting the silk sheets just enough so he could tell if he was naked or not, and the sight was horrible. His hands were shaking violently from something that must have happened last night, but he couldn't remember anything, and it worried him more than he was letting on as he swung his legs over the bed, hissing in pain when a pain in his body that he didn't want to describe protested against the movement, however his mind refused to go back and accept that there was something on the inside of his legs, coating his skin like an extra skin. The insides of his legs felt wet as he moved, disgustingly wet but he stopped moving, not daring another look under the covers to find out if it was blood or something else he didn't want to look at again caked in-between his legs, because that one glance was enough for Kendall to imagine, he only took a small glance behind him to look at the person in the bed. But when he looked, Kendall noticed a relativity large puddle of blood in the middle of the bed where his legs would have been, completely soaking the sheets. His fingers reached out towards the puddle of blood, leaning slightly back even though a pain in his body protested. He pulled back as another moan came from the person, their eyes fluttering open before landing on Kendall with half-lidded, tired eyes. The eyes seemed to wake up faster, Kendall's body freezing up once again as a sickening smile pulled at the boys lips, the lips pulling back against the teeth

"Hello sweetheart" the monster cooed at Kendall, pulling him back to the bed by his wrist with a hard yank, forcing Kendall to collapse on the bed on top of the boy, who was still looking at him with a sexual look

"U-Um, I b-better g-get back t-to my a-apartment" Kendall didn't know why his words were being trapped by his tongue, getting in the way, the lump in his throat was no better at allowing the words to easily flow from his lips

"No sweetheart, you belong to me. I will tell you when you can go back to your apartment" he sneered angrily, slapping Kendall hard in the cheek with the hand that was not holding his wrist down on the bed, Kendall's head snapping painfully to the right. Anger suddenly replaced the fear, and he lashed out at the boy in the bed with his own fist, it colliding with his cheekbone with a horrid crack

"I'm leaving" Kendall spat, quickly trying to wrench his wrist out of the monsters grasp so that he could get out of the room as quickly as he could, but it was not quick enough. The monster didn't let him go, only tightened his grip on his wrist painfully, the long nails biting in his skin. The look in the monsters eyes was pure hate rid

"You'll regret doing that, Kendall" the monster spoke through the blood that was filling up his mouth, Kendall knew that because some of the blood splashed against his cheek, but before he could give a witty reply, he was thrown to the bed, being pinned by the larger body above him. Images began to swarm inside Kendall's head, and he could do nothing to stop them

_The monster loomed over him, but it was only darkness that he could see, nothing about the person or the room could be seen past the dark figure that was pressing him down hard against the sheets of the bed. His hands pinned above his head, the blood not flowing through his whole arm, making his arm become numb fast like his body, making it almost impossible to escape its clutches_

_"You look so hansom" he cooed in Kendall's ear, kissing him down his neck until he reached his chest, slowly caressing Kendall's nipple, squeezing hard. Kendall's whimpers pain of pain were ignored as he tried to struggle under the hands that held him down under his will, but the boy above him didn't like him struggling, slapping him hard in the cheek to stop his movements. The sting of the slap made Kendall stop thrashing, looking up to the boy with fear deep within his eyes, trying to reach out to the boy above him and beg him, beg him only with his eyes, to let him go and release him _

The images faded as soon as they started, because he felt something poking him near his entrance, Kendall's own knees pressing against his cheeks from the monster holding them up for a better view of Kendall, easier access to himself. The monster looked at Kendall with hunger deep within his eyes, but he pushed himself inside Kendall with no warning, and he couldn't help but scream in pain even though it had happened before. The feeling was uncomfortable, like someone was tearing a hole inside Kendall. He threw his head back against the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut against the horrible moaning sounds that were right in his ear again and again as Kendall tried to scream louder to drown out the sound, but it only became out as a small pathetic sob, doing absolutely nothing but encouraging the person above and inside him to pump himself faster into Kendall, and Kendall just kept screaming and pleading with the boy inside him to pull out and leave him alone, but his words were choked behind the screams he was trying to make, his head constantly banging against the headboard from the harsh thrusts, his neck in an uncomfortable position from being pushed up the bed by the monster inside of him

"S-Stop please, i-i-it _hurts_!" Kendall sobbed the last word louder than the other words, trying to get to the monster above him to see how much it was hurting him, keeping his eyes squeezed shut to try to ignore the disgusting moans and grunts from the boy above him, because the moans were now forming frantic words as they both came close to release. It was tearing into him every time that the monster thrust into him, making him scream out each time he hit his prostate with a burning pain that soared up his back

"I-I'm so close" the monster moaned loudly, biting down at Kendall's neck hard enough to draw blood, thrusting harder and harder inside Kendall until something warm and horrible was released inside Kendall, it dribbled down his legs as the monster pulled out of him, letting go of his legs to let them slap to the bed uselessly at the sides of the monster, the boy collapsing on top of Kendall and falling asleep immediately, his hot breath tickling Kendall's cheek, his breath horrid and vile. Kendall couldn't move, couldn't try to shift the boy above him so that he could run to the toilet to throw up, so he swallowed down the acid rising up his throat, taking deep, long breaths to make sure that more vomit wouldn't escape from his lips to splash on the boy above him. Kendall couldn't keep one thought out of his head, one that almost made the sick rise from his mouth

He had been raped, and he did nothing to stop it. . .

* * *

Disclaimer: Sooooo, who wants to know who raped Kendall? Can you figure out who it was? Or just have a random guess? Sorry that it was mostly he or Kendall's name, I didn't want to give too much away about this story :) I just wanted to put as less information about the person as I could. I might put who it was in the next chapter, but you have to review, or I might just leave it like this :)

Oh I feel so evil :D But thank you iNDahh for coming up with this challenge, because I really enjoyed typing this first chapter, I just hope its good enough for you! Hope you enjoy it!

Love ya

DoomedPhsyx2030


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Oh I hope you enjoyed my last chapter of this story, because I really enjoyed writing it

* * *

James' p.o.v

His eyes were closed against the darkness that surrounded his room, no annoying light flashing behind his eyes, but no matter how much he tried to relax, his mind wouldn't shut down enough for him to be able to fall straight asleep, he was worried about something, and James Diamond didn't worry about anything, until now. The reason he didn't was because James didn't need to think he was perfect, he knew he was. James had the looks, his friends often refered him to the name 'the face' and he loved it, girls threw themselves at his feet, he had it all. Kendall did not return back to the apartment after talking to Jo about something, but he never returned after, not even for dinner. No one had asked where Kendall was, tucking into the food as soon as they collapsed into the chairs after a long day, Mama Knight serving the food and asking James and the guys where Kendall was, but they drew blanks. Now James was lying spread all across his bed, trying to relax enough to be able to sleep, but there was a sudden crash behind his door, jolting him awake and he groaned, wiping his hands across his face in annoyance

"Stupid Carlos" James muttered as the person continued to crash and bang around the apartment in a slopy fashion, the bathroom door, which needed some oil in the hinges because there was a distinctive squeaking to the door that everyone were used to by now, slammed open as James closed his eyes and tried to sleep again. But there was a horrid sound that made James' eyes burst open just as quickly as they closed, raising his top half so the sheet around his chin dropped from his chest, straining his ears to listen for the sound again

The sound was more horrid the second time, louder and violent as James threw his legs over the side of the bed, throwing his covers to the floor and running to his bedroom door, bolting towards the bathroom, where the noise was louder than James had ever heard. The bathroom door was ajar, the light on and only flooding a small amount of light into the hallway

"Carlos?" James whispered, gently knocking on the door with his knuckle but not wanting to go inside, because the person was still throwing up in the toilet, the expelled vomit splashing into the water, making James' own stomach twist. Taking a deep breath, James pushed the door open, and gasped with surprise at who was leaning over the toilet bowl, the person he called for moments ago still asleep, because James could hear Carlos snoring loudly in the next room

Kendall's face was barely visible to James, because his head was leaning right inside the white bowl, his knuckles pure white with strain as he vomited, which was a disgusting sound

"Dude" James whispered as he rushed over to Kendall, rubbing his back in small circles to try to sooth him as Kendall shuffled himself backwards to lean heavily on the wall of the bathroom, his shoulders slumped

"S-Sorry" Kendall rasped in heavy voice, coughing to try to get rid of the thickness. James had doubts about how heavy and raspy Kendall's voice was just from throwing up, but he pushed it aside when Kendall made a dive for the toilet again, knocking James to the side as he did, throwing up just in time. The door to the bathroom made the distinctive sound again, meaning that someone had opened the door to peer inside

"My baby!" Mama Knight squealed in a high pitched voice, pushing James away to the side to reach her son, who was still being sick in the toilet quite violently, enough for his body to begin to tremble, his arms quaking with the strain of keeping his head from falling into the toilet with his sick. James groaned in annoyance, but everyone ignored him

"What is this? 'Push James out of the way' day?" James whispered harshly, throwing up his hands and listening to Mama Knight cooing in Kendall's ear to sooth him, rubbing Kendall's back in circles just like James was doing moments ago, and James felt jealous

"I-I'm okay mom" Kendall rasped out with that croaky voice that made James flinch every time he heard Kendall speak, but when Kendall went to look at James, he noticed that Kendall looked really sick. His face was pale with a film of sweat clinging to his forehead, making his blond hair stick to his forehead, the usual bright bottle green eyes were emotionless but hiding the emotions well in James' eyes, and it worried him. Mama Knight began to move away from the toilet, James lunging for Kendall when he noticed that he started to look like he would faint on the spot, his face going even more pale than before if it was possible, but Kendall shook his head, trying to get out of James' grip, as if he didn't like being touched, but James ignored those senseless thoughts

"I'll help you to bed" James didn't make the tone of his voice light, he made sure that Kendall heard the command in his tone, and obeyed it to the letter. Kendall didn't say anything, didn't even try to stop James from babying him, and James simply shook his head

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

He hated how people touched him, the smallest touch was like someone was placing something burning hot against his skin, but it must have been inside his mind. James had allowed him to spend some alone time in the bathroom, and the first thing Kendall did was to sit on the toilet seat and put his face in his hands, feeling incredibly depressed about everything that had happened. How could he have let someone rape him? He did nothing to stop it!

_"It's because you secretly enjoyed it happening" _a small voice sneered in his subconscious, jarring him enough for his chin to tip up towards the mirror hanging up on the wall, Kendall's reflection thrown back at him. His hair was all over the place from the. . .Kendall couldn't even get his mind to say the word. His eyes were hollow, an emotionless pit that was meant to be the windows to the soul, but at the moment, Kendall felt like he had no soul, because he felt useless and used. There was sick stuck to the corners of his mouth, but he never bothered to wipe it away, he couldn't stop his hands from shaking and trembling as he attempted to swipe at the mirror to see if the reflection that was thrown at him was real, and not just a projection he made up in his mind

* * *

Disclaimer: I couldn't think of anything else to put into this fanfic, so I'm so sorry! I've got the next part in my mind right now as I type this message. I hope this chapter is not too small for people, I just wanted to treat everyone to another chapter

Oh, and I know this is an MPreg, but I'm pretty sure that as soon as someone has sex, they don't get pregnant and start the morning sickness (no offence) So, it's not happening with my story, it will happen later on, because I've got stuff planned for Kendall :) Ooh dear!

Hope you enjoyed this story :) so please review

DoomedPhsyx2030 :)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: well, I think this fanfic is going well lol. I hope so anyway

I love this challange, I love how people don't know who raped Kendall, but you might find out in this chapter. Or something else might happen hehe.

Also, I hope iWasDumbSorry loves this fanfic! Because that's what I was going for!

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Kendall's p.o.v

Kendall woke to someone screaming their lungs out, the sound intense and frightened and quite close by, Kendall twirling in his bed to stare at James because he was the only other person in the room other than Kendall himself. But James was still asleep, the covers thrown off his bed on the floor, his mouth open only for small grunts to come out of the pink lips, but at least the screaming stopped

"Who was screaming!?" Logan's voice made Kendall jump from fright, and James fell out of bed, crashing to the floor in a tangle of limbs, because neither of them heard the door opening

"I" Kendall tried to speak, but his voice was so hoarse that the words were hard to hear even for Kendall. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion, but he coughed to try to get rid of the large lump in his throat "I don't know" Kendall tried again, this time being successful, Logan looked like he was thinking hard, his eyebrows were knitted together

"Why were you screaming?" Logan questioned, staring into Kendall's eyes to try to pull out the secret, something that Kendall didn't want the others to find out, because they would think that he deserved it, that he really wanted it to happen to him because he was useless at everything else, especially singing. So Kendall kept his eyes glued to Logan's brown ones, never looking away, not even when he saw James moving in the corner of his eye to stand next to Logan, his hazel eyes looking questionable

"I just had a bad dream, no biggie" Kendall laughed as he scratched the back of his neck, keeping the fake smile on his lips but making sure that it looked perfect so no one knew how much he was hurting. The others couldn't find out what had happened to the 'unofficial leader' of Big Time Rush, because then he would have looked weak, and Kendall Knight never looked weak

Except for that one time Kendall didn't want to remember, but it would be forever embedded in his memory

* * *

In the kitchen, Kendall watched as chaos endured between Logan and Carlos, and it brought a large, true smile to his lips

Carlos was trying to bake something in the oven, but he was crashing and banging around in the kitchen to find something, and Logan was trying to help. As soon as Carlos found what he was looking for, he tipped almost all of the packet of corn dogs onto the tray, most of them bouncing off the metal tray all over the counter, Logan rolling his eyes and trying to put the scattered corn dogs back inside the bag and back into the freezer

"That's not a good breakfast" Kendall commented, raising his eyebrows when Carlos turned around to give Kendall a glare at the comment

"But I love corn dogs!" Carlos whined, pressing his face against the oven door to watch the corn dogs, a scowl on his face as he watched

"You shouldn't encourage him" James moaned in a whiny voice, rolling his eyes and staring into the mirror, slowly brushing his brown locks with a smile on his face, Kendall rolled his eyes. But he still watched James, wondering if he should tell James about what happened to him, considering that they were the closest out of the four members of Big Time Rush. Even though they had not known each other for as long as Logan and Carlos had known James, Kendall and James had been like brothers as soon as they met, and it stuck

"J-James" Kendall whispered, barely audible even in the silent room, but James didn't hear him, so Kendall pretended that he never spoke. Kendall ducked his head and walked straight out of the apartment, even though he heard Logan calling out to him

* * *

"You told someone, didn't you?" a males voice sneered in the darkness of the alleyway Kendall was currently trapped in, the figures that were holding him down to the floor by his shoulders were covered in the darkness so that Kendall couldn't see who they were. But the voice was familiar to Kendall, however it was not the evil voice of the monster that had raped Kendall two nights ago, it was still familiar

"Jett" Kendall hissed the name out through gritted teeth, his arms soon becoming numb from the hard pressure, but the anger was seeping out of every fiber of his being, Kendall was surprised that Jett couldn't smell the hate radiation from Kendall

"Yes, well done Ken-dork!" Jett snarled, grabbing a large handful of Kendall's hair and yanking his head up so he was face-to-face with Jett. There was an angry snarl of a look on the boys face, as if he knew something that Kendall was hiding

"What do you want?" Kendall tried to snarl the words out, but they came out whispered in a heavily scared voice, more like a whimper, and Jett laughed

"I just want to make sure that you don't tell anyone what happened between you-know-who and yourself" there was a small smile on Jett's face, as if he knew what had happened, that Kendall had been raped

"W-What?" Kendall almost bellowed out the sentence, that was until a hand was slapped over his mouth, a hiss of 'shh' snarled in his ear as Jett's blue eyes scanned and watched someone walking past the alleyway

"He told me himself. I'm making sure that his secret is kept a, oh I don't know, a secret" Jett snarled "but I can have my fun with you, until _he _wants you again" Jett never spoke of the name that raped Kendall, but he didn't need to, because as soon as something was mentioned about the person, goosebumps crawled painfully across Kendall's skin, making him shiver in disgust. Kendall tried to wrench his arms away from the people that were holding him down, but they had other plans, turning him onto his stomach and pinning him to the floor again. Kendall's legs were still free, so he began to thrash his legs in a hope of catching someone so they would let him go, but nothing happened except for his jeans slipping down his legs in a sickening way, Kendall tried to cry out but Jett's hand was still clamped across his face

"Shh Kendall. If you stop struggling, it won't be as painful" Jett soothed in that soft voice he used on women, but it had a undertone of lust that was present in his eyes if Kendall was watching. Kendall felt his boxers slowly slip down his legs just like his jeans, and a sicking laugh echoed around Kendall's head as a horrible, white-hot pain filled Kendall's body, forcing him to scream out from under the hand that was clamped around his mouth, as tears streamed down his eyes

* * *

James' p.o.v

"Sooo" the new girl cooed at James, walking her long fingers up James' chest, a bright smile, that wouldn't compete with James', was on her cherry red lips "are we up for a date tonight?" she cooed, winking at James, making him smile

"Sure darling. Pick you up at eight?" James smiled his 100 watt smile at the girl, who he had forgotten the name of, watching as she walked away, swinging her hips for James to stare at. He saw someone blond stumble past, trying to hide himself away from the public. If James had focused really hard on the figure, he would have realised that it was Kendall staggering back to the apartment, looking disheveled, in pain with a slight limp, but the main thing would have been the tear tracks that were still visible on Kendall's face, no matter how many times he swiped at his face

James waited until the girl walked around the corner before he moved, doing what he suspected was a victory dance with getting a date for tonight. So as soon as he finished the victory dance, James ran straight to the apartment to get ready for the date, even though it was too early, but soon he crashed into the bathroom door

"Hey! Get out of the bathroom!" James screamed in a shrill voice, banging on the door and making sure that his voice was heard over the shower that was running

"I'm having a shower" Kendall's voice shouted back at James, but it held something that James should have listened really hard for, but he was too excited about the date to really pay any attention to his brother in his time of need

"Just hurry up!" James whined to the door, slapping the door and crashing onto the sofa in a massive huff. James waited until the bathroom door swung open, and he never gave the person a second glance before lunging for the door, pushing Kendall to the side to get to the door. James immediately stripped down and jumped in the shower, steadying himself when his foot slipped, but he started the water, letting the hot water sooth him

"James, can I have a word?" Kendall's voice was loud enough against the water splashing over James' head, but James didn't answer immediately, humming to a song until Kendall asked the question again

"What?" James asked, applying the right amount of Cuba shampoo into his palm, slowly massaging the shampoo into his scalp while trying to listen to Kendall talking. Most of his sentence was muffled by the stream of water crashing over James' head, it was only when Kendall said "something happened to me, a-and I don't know who to talk to" that James suddenly froze on the spot, his heart beginning to pound in his chest so violently that it threatened to burst. His body went stone cold at the words Kendall spoke, the stinging of shampoo in his eyes never unfroze him. But there was the unmistakable sound of the apartment door opening, and Kendall was not speaking back, only muffled voices. James quickly rinsed out the shampoo out of his hair in a massive rush. James jumped out of the shower, grabbing the first towel that he could find and wrapping it across his private area and forcing the door to open to see who was in the apartment

Jett was standing in the middle of the apartment looking too cocky for his own good, staring at Kendall like he was a piece of meat. Kendall himself was standing strong, but there was a slight tremble to his lanky figure that had James wanting to move to see if he was okay, but his body didn't move

"What the hell do you want?" James snarled, but Jett's smile only got wider, he never looked towards James, only stared at Kendall

"I just want to talk to Kendall" Jett spoke in an annoyingly calm voice that James wanted to smack, but Kendall actually started to move towards the bastard, and James found himself lunging for Kendall, almost loosing the grip on his towel

"No" James whispered to Kendall, pulling him close so that James could whisper in his ear "you can't seriously be thinking about going with that creep?" James hissed, and James felt Kendall flinching but pulling away from James' grip, staring at him straight in the eyes. Green met hazel

"I'll be okay" Kendall whispered back, patting James on the shoulder before he walked out of the apartment with Jett, and James could only watch as they exited the room together, James standing in the middle of the apartment in only a towel, feeling worried about Kendall

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

He walked down the corridor side by side with Jett, their shoulders touching no matter how much Kendall wanted to lag behind Jett, but he wouldn't show any sort of weakness towards Jett

"In there" Jett pointed towards a door that Kendall knew what was on the other side, and Kendall hesitated. His hand wouldn't move towards the handle, his body wouldn't move, only flinch when he saw Jett's arm reach out towards the handle. The door swung open hauntingly, slowly, and it was dark

"Hello Kendall" a voice from inside the room, and Kendall's heart pounded in his chest when he heard the voice, the same voice that had raped him two days ago, and he still felt fear creep up from his stomach, bile almost splattering out of his mouth because he was panicking. Kendall still didn't move inside the room, but a dark figure stood in the frame of the door just waiting for Kendall to go inside

"I'm waiting" the person sneered, his hand shooting out to grab Kendall's wrist to pull him inside the room, but suddenly Kendall had a flight or fight reaction, adrenaline pumping inside his veins enough for him to lash out at the figure in the doorway, catching him right in the nose. Kendall felt the cartilage breaking underneath his knuckles, the person cried out in horror, stumbling back into the darkness clutching at his nose and still screaming. Jett moved in Kendall's vision, not towards the person currently in the dark, but at Kendall, lashing out at Kendall himself, catching him in the cheek. Kendall stumbled into the room, his legs like jelly enough so that he couldn't regain his balance and collapsed to the floor on top of a body that was thrashing around

"You idiot" Jett snarled in a threatening voice, looming over Kendall's body as he turned around on his back, letting out a groan that soon died in his throat as he saw the furious look set inside Jett's blue eyes

"I-I didn't m-mean t-to hit him" Kendall tried speak without the stutter, but it didn't work, and now Kendall looked pathetic under Jett, who looked too pleased for his own good. There was a groan right next to Kendall's side, and Kendall froze in fear as the figure started to lift up from the floor, joining next to Jett

"You'll pay for that" Wayne snarled as he stood next to Jett, watching Kendall's movements like a hawk would its prey. And all Kendall could do was lie on the floor feeling useless and used, remembering what happened two days ago

Wayne had been the one who raped Kendall two days ago, the memories that Kendall was trying to hide away in his mind coming back to haunt him, and by the look on Wayne's face he was going to do it again, and Kendall once again didn't do a thing to stop what was going to happen between Jett, Wayne and himself

* * *

Disclaimer: well, now we know who raped Kendall. Did you expect it to be Wayne? But did you also expect Jett to be in on the secret of Kendall getting raped by Wayne? Probably not! I love it hehe! And I'm the one writing the story!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Because I loved writing it! Please leave a review if you loved the story :)

DoomedPhsyx2030


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Well, here's the. . .err, fourth chapter? I think! Lol I've sort of confused myself with what chapter I'm on, so hopefully this has helped me loads!

Thank you to;

YunaNeko13 - err, yeah I'm sorry about getting Jett involved with helping to 'torture' Kendall :s it was not my first choice in doing that, it just happened, my brain, while I was typing this story, just decided "Let's have someone help Kendall's rapist, because no one else would think of doing that!" Because it's mostly Kames or Kogan :s and I wanted to be different. Right, let's leave it there, I'm rambling

iWasDumbSorry - Yep, Wayne Wayne was Kendall's rapist! I just wanted to be different from everyone else, because I knew it would probably be Kames or Kogan! And thank you so much for saying that I'm doing a good job! It means a lot to me :)

Enjoy!

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

Waking up to someone screaming their lungs out was not a good way to wake up. Kendall found that out the hard way, giving off a small moan and rolling onto his back against a hard floor that was uncomfortable...

...wait, what?

Kendall's eyes burst open as soon as the realisation hit him, bolting up from the hard floor in a panic, his eyes not settling at anything around the room as they darted to and fro to try to figure out what happened to him. Memories slowly flooded back from the blackness of his mind, slowly at first but gaining speed the more his mind finally focused enough away from the haze

_They held him down tightly, one straddled across his chest, the body of the person facing him but his knees were digging in his shoulders painfully because they were putting all of their weight on Kendall's shoulders, and no matter how much he struggled, he couldn't shift the person. Kendall knew it was Jett, because said boy was sneering words of hate rid into his ear as he messed around with the fly of his jeans, trying to pull it down with fumbling hands because he was so excited. The smile on his face was almost going to break in half it was so wide, looking crooked. Jett managed to zip his trousers down, getting his member out between the fabric_

_"Suck it" Jett demanded trying to grab a large handful of Kendall's hair to keep his head straight, because as soon as Jett demanded that he suck him off, Kendall started to thrash his head from side to side to make things harder for Jett, clenching his jaw hard. But the blond boy on top of Kendall pinched his nose hard, his blue eyes shining with delight to wait until Kendall needed to take a incase of breath, and Kendall couldn't wait another moment to breathe_

_Unfortunately, when Kendall took a long breath of air, something hard was shoved in his mouth almost choking him with the suddenness of the object in his mouth. He tried to scream past the object, but it was muffled_

_"If you bite, I'll get Wayne to fuck you so hard that you won't be able to walk!" Jett threatened, keeping a tight hold on Kendall's nose until he loosened his mouth enough for Jett_

_Wayne was near his legs, pressing down on his left leg while messing with the fly on his skinny jeans_

Kendall shook his head, shaking it so hard that he could almost hear his brains bashing around in his skull, but at least it got rid of the memories that kept flashing in his mind

"Kendall!" James' loud booming voice was screaming frantically around in the hall outside the room Kendall was in, he bashed on every single door that he passed, or that was what Kendall heard. He rose his upper body from the floor, wincing as his arms began to shake and tremble with the weight of his body, bile raising to his throat at the movement. Something sharp prickled in between his legs, making him cry out loudly and scratch violently at the sharp object, but he started to pick, he withdrew his hand and noticed there was dry blood caked underneath his nails from where he had been scratching

"Lucky I wore my black skinny jeans" Kendall muttered to himself, stretching out to his full limit on the floor to reach his jeans that was scattered on the floor, no traces of noticable blood on them. As quickly as he could, Kendall got dressed, flinching slightly as the dried blood caked on his legs rubbed against the fabric of his jeans, but he ignored the pain, shoving his shirt on just as quickly, hoping that the long shirt would cover the red, angry nail marks on his arms from Wayne gripping his upper arms as he...

"No" Kendall snarled, gripping the blond locks of his hair and pulling hard to try to pull out the memories. He dashed for the door, yanking it open and immediately slamming it shut as soon as he threw himself through the door, leaning heavily on the door until a hand touched his shoulder.

Kendall had never jumped so high in his life, a girlish screech bellowing out of his mouth as he jumped in the air

* * *

James' p.o.v

As Kendall jumped, so did James

Fortunately, James had not given off a very girlish screech that rivaled James. And it made James jealous and scared, because Kendall never got too scared

"Dude" James tried to joke about the whole 'Kendall and a girlish scream' but his smile was twisted and fake, not like Kendall noticed though. When James managed to look at Kendall, he noticed that he must have jumped away from him, but his long arms were wrapped around his mid-section, almost to cuddle himself

"Sorry, you frightened me" Kendall laughed, his eyes actually showing the smile but it still seemed fake to James' eyes, something he did not like at all

"GUYS, COME ON!" Carlos' loud voice screamed from across the hall as he charged forwards down the hall, managing to collect both of them in a headlock, forcing them to run along with Carlos because there was no choice "KEEP THE DOORS OPEN!" Carlos rushed in one sentence, still in full charge to the elevator doors, which were shutting closed, much to the horror of James. He began to struggle in Carlos' grip in an desperate attempt to loosen Carlos' grip enough so he could get out of the disaster that was about to come, but he couldn't

And soon it happened

Kendall and James' heads slammed head-first into the wall of the elevator, Carlos' whole body slammed fully into the wall next. Carlos let them both go in a matter of seconds, stumbling back and rubbing his head, even though it had not hit the wall. James, as he rubbed his forehead in both pain and annoyance, twirled to glare at Carlos, but the younger boy never noticed

"We have the tour remember?" Carlos spoke in a cocky voice, turning around to look at both of them standing like idiots in the elevator, not even pressed the button for the floor they were going to. James rolled his eyes, moving past Carlos to press the ground floor button, listening for the distinctive 'ding' of the button being pressed

"That's today!" James shrieked in a girly voice, the loudness of his scream echoing around the metal walls of the elevator making it ring in each one of their ears. James never flinched as he began to try to smooth down his hair, even though it was probably already perfect, but he made extra sure

"Dude, your hairs fine" Kendall commented, rolling those green eyes that made James stare, because he completely forgot about the talk they had before Kendall went with Jett...

...Kendall had been with Jett

"What happened last night?" James asked suddenly, just to make sure that Kendall couldn't back out of the question, but as soon as it left his lips, James wished that he had never asked, because Kendall looked like he would pass out at any given moment. The colour drained from his face, leaving him with a grey complexion that had James lunging for him to keep him upright. The green eyes looked terrified beyond relief, inhumane with fear, the pupils dilated to mere pinpoints, his bottom lip was trembling

"N-Nothing h-happened James" Kendall stuttered! Kendall Knight, the most fearless person at the Palm Woods stuttered, and James opened his mouth to comment, to ask Kendall what was wrong, but the doors pinged open. James was left standing in the dust of Carlos rushing out of the elevator, dragging Kendall along with him

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

The pounding music and the screaming fans were doing nothing to help Kendall's unsettled stomach as a woman was pulling at his shirt and jeans, making Kendall want to slap at her hands until she let him go. Kendall had refused the short sleeved shirt that the woman, who he didn't catch the name of, shoved in his face, he pulled out a long sleeved shirt that the woman disapproved of but Kendall didn't care. He shoved it on in privacy, soon walking out to meet with the others, getting ready to run onto the stage

"Oh I'm so excited!" James squealed in pure delight, jumping up and down on the balls of his feet, not seeming scared at all, unlike Kendall. Kendall's stomach was flipping horribly, but there was something wrong, because it didn't feel like the nerves were effecting him, it felt like he desperately wanted to vomit, but he kept it down for the band

"Please welcome onto the stage, Big Time Rush!" the voice screamed their name, drawing it out enough for the fans to start to scream and shout, and allowing them to run onto the stage with big smiles on their faces. Soon after, because they didn't really need to introduce themselves, the music started to play, bursting from the speakers. They began to sing, Kendall tried to make his voice seem like he was truly into the music, projecting his voice enough to hide the fear, but none of the fans noticed, and the bile in his stomach was really starting to bubble. When they didn't need to sing, only dance on the stage, Kendall tried to get his body to move, but the sickness in his stomach was rising slowly to his throat, and soon enough it was becoming so bad that he had to keep his concentration on swallowing hard to stop it bursting from his tightened lips. Kendall ended up crashing into James when he turned wrong, James only shot him a glare before getting back into the swing of the music. Logan and Carlos never noticed that Kendall had made a wrong move, but James never gave him another look, belting out his solo

But Kendall couldn't keep the vomit anymore, his cheeks puffed out with the sick collecting in his mouth. He had to slap his hands around his mouth tightly, dropping the mic to the floor, the feedback muffling everyone's voices. Kendall bolted from the stage in a hurry, pushing and shoving everyone in his way to a bin so he could throw up, but he couldn't find one quick enough, and the effort of holding it in was in vain

The vomit practically gushed out of his mouth onto the floor, all over his vans and some of the wire that was tied down to the floor by silver duct tape, however, he couldn't stop throwing up, his knees shaking with the effort of keeping his weak body standing up so he didn't end up collapsing into the puddle of sick he made

"K-Dog!" Gustavo boomed in an annoyed voice, and as soon as he rounded the corner, his face red with a vein popping out of his forehead, Gustavo's anger vanished from his face completely seeing Kendall leaning over dry heaving, choking and trying to breathe

"S-Sorry G-Gustavo" Kendall rasped out, coughing to try to get rid of the large lump that had collected in his throat

"KENDALL!" James' voice was close, and someone was touching him gently, but it felt like someone was burning him with a poker that was burning hot. He flinched away from the touch, however, his legs gave out underneath him when he tried to move away, luckily someone managed to grab him underneath his armpits and keep him upright and away from the puddle of sick. James' tan arms were the thing that was holding him up, because Kendall looked down at the arms, hoping that they were not Wayne's

_"They can't be his" _Kendall reassured himself in his mind, biting on his lower lip at the stupid mistake he made. He felt guilty thinging that it was Wayne that had a tight hold on him

"I don't think that you're well enough for the concert" Gustavo muttered, but his teeth were gritted hard enough for them to shatter with the grinding

"Y-You've got t-to do the c-concert" Kendall stuttered, still feeling sick and trying not to show how ill he was feeling. James looked like he didn't want to leave Kendall alone while he was sick, and Kendall knew that none of the others would want to either, especially Logan, who as the doctor of the group

"O-Okay" James walked away, turning around to take a glance at Kendall as he ran back on stage

"Come on, the limo is on its way to take you home" Kelly spoke in a sweet tone, pushing past Gustavo so that he didn't say anything to prevent Kendall from going back home. Kendall knew that Gustavo was not happy about him having to leave the concert early, only because he was sick

"I'm sorry about the concert" Kendall spoke to himself, pretending that Gustavo was sitting next to him, he never glanced to the side "I-It's just that things have happened to me in the last few days, a-and I don't know who to talk to" Kendall began to twirl his fingers with each other "I just hope I'm not pregnant" Kendall joked with himself, even trying to laugh it off

How little did Kendall know that this was only the beginning of the sickness


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Woooo, love the reviews I've gotten for this story! Please keep enjoying this fanfic :)

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

Wrenching himself from the toilet bowl for the third time this morning, Kendall bit back a small moan of discomfort as his stomach flipped dangerously, almost making him dive for the bowl again, but he swallowed hard to make sure that no vomit came up. He tried to forget all of the memories that plagued him previously, way before the concert. Kendall knew that it was three o'clock in the morning, so no one else would be awake to hear Kendall throwing up, rather violently, into the porcelain bowl, the toilet door wide open enough for anyone to see him leaning over the toilet if anyone actually woke up to get a glass of water or just because they couldn't sleep, but there was no obvious squeaking of a bedroom door opening

"Stupid sickness" Kendall moaned in a weak voice, when he spoke it felt like his throat was sandpaper, rough. He coughed, trying to dislodge the stupid feeling, but it did nothing to ease it, only seemed to make it worse, almost enough for him to want to be sick again. He swallowed hard once again, making it painful when he did

"Kendall?" Kendall jumped in fright, his stomach flipping so violent with the jump that vomit rose up from his throat, and Kendall had no choice but to lunge for the toilet again, throwing up violently clutching at the sides until his knuckles turned white with strain, he almost missed the toilet because the vomit rushed up from his throat rather quickly, and he really didn't want to throw up in front of the person that had called out his name. He didn't know who was next to him, but they were rubbing circles into his back for comfort, his whole body quivering with the dry heaves, he didn't dare remove his head from the bowl. A body curled themselves into his side, it was small as much as Kendall could tell when he heavily began to suck air into his lungs that felt like they were burning, his throat burning just as horribly as his lungs

"S-Sorry, you w-were saying?" Kendall hated to speak with such a horrible raspy voice

"I just wanted to see if you were okay" Katie's voice, small and timid, scared. Kendall couldn't turn to look at Katie at the moment, he could feel vomit starting to dry around his mouth, he wanted to seem strong towards Katie

"I-I'm okay, baby sister" Kendall croaked, pulling off his shirt over his head, removing the arms of the tank top through each arm one at a time so that he could lean heavily on the sides of the toilet, his arms quaking under the strain of his weight. As soon as the shirt was removed, Kendall quickly swiped the shirt around his mouth, balling it into a fist before Katie could see what was smeared along the fabric. Finally he turned to look at his little sister that was growing up much too quickly for Kendall's mind to catch up. She looked older, prettier even without the make up, but it was her brown eyes that really seeped into Kendall, because they seemed older, wiser. Kendall looked around the room, trying to find the washing basket, but it was not in the bathroom like his mother would normally put it, so Kendall carefully, not making too much movement to make Katie suspicious, he tucked the shirt against the back of the toilet, making a mental reminder to fetch it later on when no one would notice. He couldn't let the others see that he had thrown up rather violently, the evidence on the fabric of his shirt, but Katie would be the only person that would know

"How long have you been throwing up?" Katie asked, worry underlining her small, timid tone, she didn't stop the soothing circles that she pressed into Kendall's back, he almost leaned heavily against her he felt so weak. He made sure that he was not leaning on Katie, who was only small and probably couldn't hold all of Kendall's weight, he wouldn't tell her that though

"I-I threw up last night at the concert" Kendall weakly rasped out, finally having enough courage and strength to push himself away fully from the toilet enough for the momentum of the push to make sure that he was now leaning against the sink, a small pain blossoming at the back of his skull because his head hit the sink with a dull 'clunk'. He liked the pain, it made him almost forget the horrible pain that kept squeezing his stomach

"Oh" Katie replied dully, the soothing circles stopped, her small hand was still placed on his back, he could feel the small amount of weight

"I managed to run off the stage before I threw up, I might have ruined the concert" before Kendall could blame himself, Katie hit him in the back of the head hard, his head jerked forwards from the hit. Kendall spun around angry, but it soon disappeared completely from his face when he faced Katie fully. She looked like a young Mama Knight, her posture straightened as her back was rigid, a scowl of anger crossing her face making her look like a small lion, her upper lip pulled into a sneer as she watched Kendall

"You didn't ruin the concert. James told me that all the fans were sad that you had to leave, and they screamed for you to get better. The concert was definitely not ruined though Kendall" Katie's voice suddenly turned sincere and Kendall flinched, scooting away from Katie

"It was ruined" Kendall spoke dully "You better get back to bed" Kendall made his voice sound stronger, not like the other time when it was practically a small, barely heard mumble under his breath so his little sister didn't hear a weakened side to Kendall. But as he tried to stand up, the whole room began to dip dangerously to the left side, and his body automatically went along with the tipping, he only managed to save himself by blindly grabbing the sink, his vision going completely black for a moment, his knees almost collapsing right underneath him

"Kendall!" Katie shrieked in a panicked tone, lunging for him and grabbing onto his elbow hard enough to bruise, Kendall didn't flinch away from her, he ripped his elbow away from someone he thought that was going to attack him, letting his whole body collapse to the tiles, knees first. The contact of his knees hitting the tiles hurt, something cracked but it went ignored by Kendall, who pushed himself against the sink to try to disappear away from the figure, away from the screams that held no words to Kendall's ears

_He was back with Jett, gripping his elbow only to throw him to the floor again like a rag doll so he could have his own way with Kendall's body, his head smacking against the carpet doing no damage to him. Something pinned him to the floor painfully, biting into his arms and legs as they pulled his clothing down his legs, making him vulnerable. The contact was only removed when the hands were in the way of getting his clothing off Kendall's body, ripping away his shirt before he could breath_

_"Ain't you a pretty boy" Jett sneered in his ear, his breath tickling his neck as he snarled the words, his hands still traveling down his legs, trailing them trying to make the touch light. Kendall shivered under the arms or whatever was holding him down, but the fight instinct was gone from Kendall's body, he couldn't attack Jett, he was too scared_

_"Kendall? Kendall please, come back!" A voice screamed through the memory, making him jerk against the hold of the person, but nothing worked, the person only kept pulling at his boxers now, yanking them apart from his body, the ripping sound making Kendall begin to scream and thrash against the hold. Frightened voices kept screaming inside the memory, making him fight harder away from the people, because he now started to recognise the voices, and it scared him at who was trying to make him come back_

_What did they mean 'come back'? He was screaming and struggling to get away from the people, clawing at the carpet. So why scream for him to come back when he was inside his own apartment being attacked by the man that raped him? Why didn't they understand that he was only trying to fight off Jett so he didn't hurt him again? _

_"Help!" a primal scream of panic wrenched from Kendall's mouth, his throat burning hot as he screamed, different hands touching him, shaking him violently to try to wake him up, but it still was not working, it made Kendall began to panic more as Jett's face now came into view, sneering and dark as he rose his hand to slam it down against Kendall's cheek, silencing him only for a moment. As Jett's face was directly in line with Kendall's, Kendall lashed out violently, catching someone's face, making Kendall think that he had managed to get Jett away from him_

_But his fist only went through Jett's figure looming in front of him, and Kendall saw the flicker of anger flash through Jett's blue eyes  
_

_"Kendall please come back!" Katie's small voice was terrified, wailing frightened as she spoke, something wet dripped onto Kendall's face, but Jett's cock was in his face, dripping with cum_

_"Nooooo!" Kendall screamed in a terrified scream, arching his back with the scream to get Jett away from him, kicking up his legs to make sure that no one approached him, but Kendall lost the fight against consciousness, his vision blackening until his head slammed down against the carpet because his body gave up fighting _

_No pain was_ _felt _

* * *

Disclaimer: Whoa, where the hell did that last part come from? Lol, I should listen to music while I do my fanfics more often. My fingers are amazing, because they just whizzed across the keys of my laptop as I listened to music!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'm sorry it was short! I just couldn't think of anything else to put into the fanfic

DoomedPhsyx2030


	6. Chapter 6

Katie's p.o.v

The tears were falling hard and fast down her pale cheeks as she was forced to watch the scene unfold with horrified, wide brown eyes

James had ran in the bathroom as soon as Kendall started to frantically scream and yell for help at the top of his lungs, his eyes rolled back in his head so only the whites of his eyes were showing, his eyelids half lidded at the moment. As soon as his eyes closed, that's when the horror started for Katie, she could only watched as her brother started to thrash around on the floor, kicking up his legs as he shrieked, crying with the sobbing. Katie didn't know what happened, if she had bellowed James' name because it was the easiest one to form on her tongue, or because she noticed how strong a person needed to be to shield themselves away from the frantic arms and legs

"Katie! What the hell is going on!" James came stumbling into the room, half asleep, almost mumbling the words and rubbing his eyes. But as soon as he opened them, fully awake, James' eyes widened horrified at Kendall, who was still thrashing against something that neither of them could see, his face twisted in a grimace of pain and fright

"H-Help him!" Katie shrieked over her brothers frantic shouting for someone to stop, tears streaming down his pale cheeks. James didn't need to be asked twice, immediately restraining Kendall to the floor so he didn't hurt himself, but that seemed to only make the terror Kendall was feeling worsen. There was a terrified scream of 'no' his back arching with the scream, before Kendall's fist flew out, catching James straight in the face, and Katie screamed his name as James stumbled back to Katie's side

"What the hell is wrong with him?" James questioned, slowly moving closer to Kendall's form, watching him like a hawk before he tried to restrain Kendall to the floor again

"I-I don't k-know" Katie allowed the tears to flow freely now, she was terrified of the horrifying reaction her brother had from her touching him at the shoulder for comfort after she found him throwing up in the toilet. But slowly Kendall was waking up, his eyelids fluttering open and closed as he was regaining consciousness, giving off a low moan as he allowed his tense body to relax against the tiles of the floor, he soon jumped when James' voice came quick in the quiet room, even making Katie flinch. Kendall looked like a small child being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, going quiet with no answer, his head ducked down so much that neither Katie or James could see his face. He began to mess with his fingers

"I-I'm sorry. I had a nightmare" Kendall tried to explain, his voice low and barely heard, but Katie looked at Kendall like he had two heads, even James, when Katie looked, was looking puzzled and confused

"In broad daylight? While you were awake?" Katie asked in a challenged tone, but when her brothers troubled green eyes looked up towards her, Katie regretted saying those words while James was in the room

You see, Kendall Knight once before had been abused by his father at the tender age of seven, when his little sister was three years old. Katie had been forced to watch her own father, even though she barely understood what was happening between the two, beat Kendall until he was unconscious, but even then their father had kicked and punched Kendall's body until he was satisfied. None of the others knew about Kendall being abused by their own father

"James" Katie whispered, still keeping contact with Kendall and watching James as he twirled around at the moment Katie opened her mouth "can you please leave so I can talk to Kendall?" Katie didn't really give James any option to answer back, shoving him until he finally moved towards the door, Katie keeping eye contact to plead with James to move faster towards the door. As soon as James' foot was just behind the silver strip on the floor, Katie slammed the door in James' face, fumbling with the lock as soon as the door slammed loudly. Katie kept her back towards Kendall for a moment, trying to keep herself neutral until she could control the tears and emotions that were desperate to flow out of her body towards her brother. She wanted to fling herself at Kendall, sobbing and pleading with him to forgive her for opening her mouth and almost spilling Kendall's deepest secret, but she bit back the plea, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand to get rid of the evidence that Katie Knight had cried. When she turned around, Kendall seemed to have pulled himself together faster than Katie had, he was on his feet and walking towards her ready to cuddle her for comfort, but Katie made the distance between them larger, her head down so her hair covered her face, guilt

"Katie, I know what you feel guilty about almost talking about" Kendall hesitated slightly, and Katie knew it was still difficult for him to talk about it "what happened in the past. But..but its over now" Kendall decreased the distance before Katie realised, and she was soon pulled into a hard chest, arms circling across her shoulders, a nose burying in her hair

"I almost told" Katie whispered guiltily, feeling the tears building in her eyes again, but she didn't miss the way Kendall flinched, and Katie's eyes went down to the scar she knew was there at his wrist, the line was from his wrist to his shoulder, glistening a silver colour in the right light, but it made Katie shiver when she remembered what happened

_Their father had been drunk, and it was the worst he had ever been in a long time. He stumbled into the house with a beer bottle clutched tightly in his grasp, half full and swirling in the brown bottle, but Katie, only five years old, had made sure that she stayed away, curled underneath the kitchen table with her knees drawn all the way to her chin so she was a small as possible. Her father began to scream both their names, and each time her name was slurred past his lips, Katie couldn't help but flinch and bite her lip to stop a small whimper of fright _

_"Y'u better" their father slurred, stumbling into the couch "g't here boy, or I'll b'at that s-stupid b-b-bitch of a da'g'ter of mine!" their father tried to sound menacing, but most of the words he slurred were barely understandable, but she got most of the words_

_"I-I put your d-dinner in the m-microwave" Kendall stuttered, appearing from behind the sofa slowly as if their father was a dangerous animal and any fast movements would make it strike, they both knew better than to annoy their dad. Kendall walked closer to their father, watching him silently for anything that he might do, but it seemed like he wouldn't do anything. He was currently taking a long drink from the bottle, long, sloppy glugs that were loud and disgusting, making Katie flinch from where she sat hunched up underneath the table. When their father finished the bottle, a small amount of the liquid still collected in the bottom, he swung the bottle hard towards Kendall, who barely saw the bottle coming before it smashed against his temple with a sickening smash of glass. Katie had to clasp her hands over her mouth to stop a scream of terror from escaping, or she would have broken a promise to Kendall not to speak or make any sort of noise while their father was around and drunk out of his mind. Kendall dropped to the floor as soon as the contact was made, clutching at his temple as his face twisted with the pain he was feeling, but he never allowed any sort of whimper to escape from his mouth, Katie could see the blood dribbling through his fingers_

"Katie?" Kendall snapped Katie out of her memory, and unconsciously she glanced up at the left side of Kendall's forehead where a small, barely noticeable scar came from his temple, trailing up into his hair, lost in the golden locks of hair. Kendall seemed to notice that she was staring, because, unknown to Kendall, he began to rub at the scar, brushing back his bangs to let Katie fully see the scar until it was lost again by his hairline

"I-I'm fine" Katie stuttered, raising her eyes enough so now she was looking at Kendall directly in his eyes, green meeting scared doe brown. Kendall ended up looking away first, a sickly green shade coating his face as he could smell something drifting through the small gap in the door, Katie could smell it moments later, sausages and eggs

"Are you okay?" Katie asked, but she got no reply as Kendall lunged for the toilet, violently expelling anything in his stomach into the bowel, his face fully inside the toilet. Katie flinched every time that Kendall threw up, automatically walking towards Kendall to rub soothing circles into his back, snuggling into his side and never loosing the momentum of the circles

"Ugh, what the hell is wrong with me?" Kendall moaned in a raspy voice, sounding like it hurt when he spoke, but the smell of food wafted into the bathroom, and soon Kendall was dry heaving into the bowel again. Katie was almost going to scream for Logan, but the bathroom door slammed open, Logan's small frame bursting into the room while his name was ready on Katie's tongue, she was surprised that everyone didn't run into the room

"How long has this been happening?" Logan questioned, asking Katie the question rather than Kendall, who looked much too pale than good. Plus he was still dry heaving, chocking almost with wanting to throw up

"Since yesterday" Kendall's croaky voice replied before Katie could even open her mouth to answer Logan back, Kendall finally pulled away from the toilet rim, but he still held the sides with a tight grip as if he would fall as soon as the contact was lost. Katie bolted to his side to sooth him

"You could have the flu" Logan put bluntly, Katie looked behind her to watch Logan's face twist with thinking, his eyes rolling up towards the ceiling with concentration, biting his lower lip

"the flu?" Katie questioned, swooping in to clasp her hand around Kendall's mouth before he could speak, ignoring the low rumbling sounds of annoyance from behind her hand. Kendall's green eyes, that looked too pained in Katie's mind, looked up at her with the annoyance he was feeling, but there was something else, something deeper inside the green eyes that Katie knew so well. It was like he knew something was wrong with him, that something was happening right underneath their noses, but Kendall being stubborn, was not telling them, letting himself deal with the situation on his own like he normally would. It was just like before with their father, Katie shivered at the thought, but only Kendall seemed to notice. Logan was too busy staring at Kendall, his eyes scanning his face, but Katie never realised that he had moved deeper into the bathroom until she saw a figure appear in the corner of her eye, reaching down past her to touch Kendall's forehead. Katie tried not to flinch

"Hmm" Logan made a strange sound in the back of his throat, his lips thinning "you feel a little bit warm" Logan had to state the obvious, Katie rolled her eyes

"Can I just go back to bed?" Kendall whined in a raspy voice that sounded like it hurt to speak, but a different voice other than James, Carlos or Mama Knight came flooded into the room, Katie's head snapped up at the unfamiliar voice, but Logan seemed to know who it was, because he froze up, his face going impossibly paler

"I-Is that Wayne?" Logan questioned, no sooner had he asked the question did he suddenly leave the room in search to who it was, stomping his feet. Katie stayed by Kendall's side, noticing the way Kendall's body seemed to freeze up badly

* * *

Logan's p.o.v

James stood at the door, his hand still holding the frame of the door but his grip was hard, almost breaking the door with his anger. The door was moaning with the pressure as much as Logan could hear, but there was a low growl coming from James' mouth

"What? No milk and cookies for me?" Wayne's sarcastic tone was easy to detect, smothering his words and making James more angry. The wood was really starting to bend in his hand

"No, we hate you. Why the hell are you here?" James left no room in his voice for the question, it was completely filled with hate rid, anger, frustration at Wayne being here. Even Logan was starting to feel hate rid filling his bones, it was probably seeping into his skin from James

"I actually came here to see my boyfriend" Wayne sounded too smug for his own good, but James' hand was lost on the wood, slapping uselessly to his side with a loud slap. Confused, Logan moved out away from the door deeper into the room

"I don't understand what you mean by 'boyfriend'" Logan lifted his hands to give air quotations around the word, Wayne's brown eyes snapped to his, a sick smile, one that had all the hairs on Logan's arms lift up, was slithering on his face like a snake, and Logan hated that one look

"My boyfriend" Wayne repeated "is Kendall" it slithered from his lips like a snakes tongue, poisoned at the tip towards the people he was speaking to. There was a look of pure lust deep within the eyes, and Logan couldn't help but look away from them for a moment

"No" James whispered, sounding horrified "NO! YOU'RE LYING! KENDALL WOULD TELL US IF HE WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP! YOU'RE A LYING TWAT!" James roared the words, they pinged off the walls, booming back inside Logan's ears. Small footsteps came from behind Logan, taller than him and seeming to shrink away from the person, a small sound coming from the back of their throat bringing James' attention towards Kendall. Logan moved away from Kendall, not because he now hated Kendall for not telling them, but to watch his reaction. Kendall was ghostly white, all of the colour that had once been shining on his face in the bathroom was no longer there, it was like it had drained away from his face. His eyes looked horrified even through the mask that he was desperate to cover his face, his bottom lip trembling

"Tell me its a lie" James whispered, never turning around to look at Kendall, keeping his full concentration on Wayne at the door. A massive amount of emotions were coursing through those green eyes, Logan could only gather a few before they disappeared. James missed them all

Hurt

Pain

Discomfort

Fear, that one scared Logan too much that he was letting on. He never wanted to see that emotion coursing through those precious green eyes of his brother

"I-It's" Kendall was scared, timid as he spoke the words, stuttering "I-It's true"

* * *

Disclaimer: wow, hope this chapter is good enough for everyone :) I've got so many plans for this story, I've already got an idea for later on in the story! You guys are probably going to love it, because there's more Kendall angst to come! Plenty more :)

Love DoomedPhsyx2030


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Hey guys! Hope you are enjoying my story, especially the last chapter :) Poor Kendall. I've got sooo much planned for this fanfic! I hope you're ready for it

Thank you so much to;

iWasDumbSorry - this whole story was for you to enjoy. So, I really hope that you're enjoying it so far :) Thank you so much for reviewing each of my chapters, it makes me want to keep going with the fanfic

YunaNeko13 - Thank you so much too for reviewing my story each time that I put up another chapter! It means a lot to me when it happens :) Also, thank you for saying that I write awsome :) That one really put a smile on my face, because sometimes I think that I'm not doing enough

Enjoy

* * *

James' p.o.v

Erie silence suffocated the room, sucking all of the air out of the room until everyone was gasping hard for breath, wheezing and spluttering for air to fill their lungs. However for James it was completely different, he was getting enough air into his lungs, too much, because as each puff of air that he inhaled, it only seemed to make him feel more anger, as if it was fueling the anger

"You don't mean that" James bit out slowly, never turning around to look at those green eyes that would capture him the moment his eyes met, showing the truth in his words, because James would be able to see the sheer amount of hurt flashing across the green eyes

"I-I'm" Kendall tried to speak, almost sounding normal to anyone that didn't really know Kendall, but James knew enough. His words were rough, almost sounding hollow because his throat was clenching up, tears easily detected in his words even though James didn't look behind him. He could see Kendall's face flashing right in front of him like he was standing just meters away near the door, his face pale and drawn, looking like he had not slept for a long time, purple bags hanging from his eyes. His lips thinned, pinched, the sides of his mouth trying to turn into a smile but they were only twitching. But it was those emerald green eyes that kept James staring into space, staring at the spot where he thought Kendall was standing, but in front of him was Wayne looking too fucking smug for his own good in James' eyes, because he came into the apartment, with that stupid strut James noted, like he owned it. The grin on his face was too wide, looking too innocent

"Come on sweetheart" Wayne cooed towards Kendall, James' hand instinctively clenching at his sides because, in all honesty, he wanted to suddenly lash out and smash Wayne's face in to make himself feel much better about the situation, but he kept his arms pinned to his sides, digging his knuckles so hard into the side of his leg that he could fully concentrate on now smashing Wayne's face into next week, to not touch the person he loved...

...James' almost took a large step back in fright at what his mind just said to him while he was trying to fight the urge to hit Wayne, his mouth falling open with the fierce emotion of terror that gripped his heart and almost yanked it out of his chest, because it almost felt like it..it hurt James to admit those feelings to himself. There was definitely something going on between Kendall and Wayne, and unfortunately it really was hurting James to be left out of the picture. As Kendall's figure walked past him, James only noticed because of the movement in the corner of his eye, he almost reached out towards Kendall to grasp his wrist, to pull him back and shield Kendall away from Wayne with his body, tell Wayne that 'no, Kendall's not coming with you' in the nastiest, childish voice he could muster

But instead, James allowed Kendall to walk straight past him

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

Wayne's grip on his wrist was too hard, it was cutting off the circulation to his fingers, making them numb enough for pins and needles to prickle at his fingertips

"You've got a lot of explaining to do" Wayne snarled as he pushed his apartment door open, hitting the handle of the door hard enough to almost break the door handle with the sheer force. There was a cracking sound of wood, nothing more as Wayne pushed him deeper into the room, slowly snapping the door to a close

"I've got nothing to explain to you" Kendall spoke, keeping his back towards Wayne as he spoke the words, he didn't want to see the anger that would flicker through his eyes, blocking the words from his throat enough for Wayne to advance on him, using horrible words of his own to cripple Kendall on the spot. Kendall knew Wayne could do it

"What the hell happened back in the apartment?" Wayne was trying to sound calm, but through the tones of his voice, it sounded more like he was trying to restrain himself from lashing out at Kendall to beat the words right out of his mouth. In a protective gesture, Kendall's hands moved to his flat stomach, he began to rub all around his belly, but he soon dropped his hands when he realised what he was doing

"I-I" Kendall was much too slow with an answer, and suddenly he was shoved rather violently forwards with a lot of force. He barely had enough time to let out a cry of panic before his head smashed into the corner of the kitchen table, sending his body twisting around after hitting the corner. He lay spiraled on the floor, trying to catch his bearings and ignoring the waves of nausea that rolled in his stomach. Kendall barely felt someone sitting on his legs, their knees digging hard into his legs, that was until his head snapped to the right, pain flooding into his temple from where he hit the counter, his vision blackening out for a moment

"Tell. Me. What. Happened!" Wayne bit out slowly as if Kendall was a small child, lowering his voice just enough to sound intimidating, growling out the words that were filled with venom. Kendall focused on making sure he was breathing through the nausea, because he really didn't want to throw up all over Wayne, he would beat Kendall the moment it happened

"I-I was sick" Kendall stuttered, visibly flinching when he noticed the stutter "t-they only wanted to know what was going on, and i-if I was okay" Kendall rose his hands towards his face when Wayne's face twisted into one of anger, his hand raising past his head, ready to strike

"How long has this been happening?"

"I-I don't k-know" Kendall cried, but he soon screamed when Wayne began to hit Kendall constantly all over his face and throat, one very hard hit knocked the breath out of him for a moment, but the hits just kept coming

"ANSWER MY QUESTION!" Wayne roared. Kendall began to cry

"A-About a week!" Kendall screamed back but it was not in the same tone of voice, it was a terrified wail that ripped from his throat, almost like a battle cry to try to protect himself from the lashing of fists that were still raining down on him. Kendall could feel blood running down his face, from where though, Kendall didn't know, but he didn't try to raise his arms to protect himself from Wayne, because it would just send the boy into more of a frenzy

"A week?" the hits stopped just enough for the pain to start to roll over Kendall, he ignored it all for now "shit" Wayne cursed under his breath, the weight at his legs gone. Kendall swiped his hand across his face, pulling back when he felt a warm substance at his palm, and he was faced with a palm full of blood. It was smeared across his face, he could tell that much

"What's wrong?" Kendall croaked out, trying to lift himself up from the floor when he noticed the angry but scared look that was flickering through Wayne's eyes. It scared Kendall

"Wash your face. Get rid of the blood" Wayne instructed, leaving no room for Kendall to argue with him, but instead of rushing to the bathroom to do what Wayne said, Kendall found himself just staring at Wayne like he was an alien, a puzzled but stern look on his face. He wanted to know what Wayne knew

"Why?" Kendall whispered, moving his hand to wipe at the blood that was still on his face. Wayne never turned around to face Kendall, but his shoulders tensed up like Gustavo's did when they did or said something that he didn't like

"Just do it" Wayne threatened

* * *

Kendall felt stupid sitting down in the waiting area of the doctors, a clipboard clutched in his hands as he wrote down a hell of a lot of information on the form he had to fill in before the doctor could see him. One question had stumbled Kendall only for a moment, until the clipboard was snatched out of his hands by Wayne, who shot him a pissed off look before also snatching the pen Kendall had in his hand. Wayne quickly scribbled something down on the paper, but he never gave back the clipboard, instead he stood up to give it back to the receptionist. She was a stern looking woman that looked in her late forties, her graying hair, that she was allowing to grow grey, was pulled back in a perfect ponytail, not a single hair was out of place on her head. When Wayne approached her, she gave him such an evil look, and if looks could kill, Wayne would be six feet under the ground by the time she was finished with him, but the woman only took the clipboard back from Wayne's fingers and slammed it down on the desk near the computer on her desk, she barely glanced in his direction as she looked down at the paper

"Just wait until your name is called" she spoke in a dull, emotionless voice, glancing towards Kendall with a knowing look, as if she knew what was happening, her cold hazel eyes snapped to Wayne's as he walked away from the desk in a huff

"Stupid woman told us to wait until your name's called" Wayne repeated what the old woman said, but Kendall never told him about how he managed to hear the conversation. He slammed his body heavily into the seat, the metal groaning as he hit the back of the seat but it didn't break, it's not like Kendall wanted that to happen or anything

"We can wait, right?" Kendall laughed, but it soon died on his tongue when Wayne twisted around to give him a nasty glare, narrowing his eyes and biting down hard on his lip to stop himself from getting angry

"Maybe you can, but me? Not so much" Wayne bit out through gritted teeth, glaring at the large digital screen that scrolled through a long amount of names in red, telling patience's where to go and which room, even going as far as to point towards the direction they needed to go. Kendall stared at the machine, waiting for his name to pop up on the screen and tell him where to go, just so he could get away from Wayne. When the screen flashed and made a small 'ding' noise, Kendall's head snapped up towards it, unfortunately, it did not hold his name. Wayne sighed from beside him, sliding down the back of the chair in annoyance while crossing his arms over his chest, tapping his feet to a beat only he could hear, it seemed to annoy the woman behind the desk, she kept glaring up at Wayne. The woman, who Kendall still didn't know the name of, furiously typed away on the keyboard, clicking the mouse every couple of seconds later

"Kendall Knight?" the different voice startled Kendall, he jumped out of his chair to his feet in a matter of seconds, flashing a smile towards the voice

"Y-Yes, that's me" Kendall spoke, raising his hand slightly to give himself away to the nurse that stood at the door, holding a clipboard in her hands, her green eyes scanning the room until they landed on Kendall, her eyebrows rose as if she knew who he was. Oh great

"Ah, Mr. Knight" she spoke in a soothing tone, flashing her own smile "please follow me" she turned around and walked back into the room, Kendall followed shortly after, feeling a presence next to him but he ignored it for now. He stepped into the room, his hands out behind him to shut the door, but something stopped him, something was pulling on the door with all their might to stop Kendall

"Excuse me!" the doctor in front of Kendall shouted towards the person holding the door open so they could slip inside, carefully shutting the door behind them. Kendall walked to the left side, turning his body slightly to see Wayne standing near the door "you can't be in here"

"I'm his boyfriend, and I'm worried about him" Wayne's voice was smothered in fake concern, Kendall could hear it because he knew what to listen for. Unfortunately, the doctor couldn't hear the fake concern, her eyes widening before managing to look professional. She threw Wayne a smile, picking up a silver clipboard from the desk beside her where her computer stood, flipping through it quickly, her eyes furiously flickering across the pages

"Okay then, please take a seat" the doctor spoke, pointing to two chairs that were two inches away from each other, Kendall wished they were further away, but he didn't fight it, only walked to the chair and settled down on the cushion, clenching his hands around the arm rests until his knuckles turned white with strain. Wayne did a similar thing, only he clenched his hands against his leg away from the doctors eye sight

"So, what's wrong with my boyfriend?" Wayne asked

"How long has the sickness been going on for, Mr. Knight?"

"Err, about a week" Kendall shrugged "maybe more" he added, remembering the concert

"Hmm interesting" the doctor noted something down on the clipboard, the scribbling on the paper gaining Kendall's attention just enough so he didn't lose himself in his own thoughts. His mind constantly went back to the concert, where he had started to throw up, and he could smell something rancid in the air that was making his stomach twist. He breathed heavily through his nose, trying not to gain any attention to himself

"Do...Do you have a bucket?" Kendall muttered, not raising his voice because that might make the vomit rise up from his throat. The doctor looked horrified at Kendall's question, her face going pale but she immediately rose from the chair in a fluid motion, quickly running behind the desk after taking one more look in Kendall's direction, his face must have gone a sickly green colour, because there was a burning sensation flowing up his throat. Before Kendall knew it, a metal bin was thrust under his chin just in time as the vomit exploded from his throat like a river, his whole body shaking with him vomiting. The doctor, instead of helping him, was scribbling frantically on the paper

"You okay?" Wayne asked, only putting his hand on his back, never moving it to give Kendall any sort of comfort. His hand was cold, even through the shirt he was wearing

"Have you finished. Mr. Knight?" the doctor looked at Kendall with a scared expression marrying her face, her eyes wide. Kendall only pulled his face away from the sick that sloshed around in the bin, nodding his head and trying to put the bin as far away from him as possible, never wanting to glance inside incase it made him sick again

"Y-Yes" Kendall chocked out, coughing to try to clear his voice a little more "I'm sorry, please continue" speaking was difficult, because it was rough like sandpaper, almost making him sick again, he swallowed hard to get rid of the feeling

"I would like to test something, if I may" the doctor asked, reaching towards her desk to pull out the top draw, shuffling around it. Kendall couldn't tell what she was going to pull out, but she pulled something out that Kendall had to knit his eyebrows together in confusion. In her hand was a small tube. Kendall's mouth opened in shock, Wayne almost began to snort in laughter

"W-What do you need that for?" Kendall questioned, a slight quiver in his voice to show everyone in the room, no matter how much he really didn't want to show it, was clear in his voice

"Please lie down on the chair Kendall" she informed him, flashing a smile. Timidly, Kendall slowly walked towards the chair, slowly settling into the chair. He tried to relax against the fabric as the doctor lifted up his shirt just enough to fully show his stomach, the fabric of his shirt in one hand in between her index finger and thumb, the other hand holding the tube, a small, light smile tugging at the corner of her lips

"What's going to happen?" Wayne made Kendall jump, but it went unnoticed by them both. The doctor turned towards Wayne, a curious look sparkled in her eyes, but she didn't say anything, only squeezed a large amount of the lube from the tube onto Kendall's stomach. He shivered when the cold substance came in contact with his skin, the doctor only flashed an apologetic smile

"Sorry" she was laughing as she touched his stomach with some sort of device that Kendall didn't know what she was using, smearing the lube all across his stomach and now beginning to look into a small screen that she had pulled closer to her. As she moved the device across his stomach, the screen remained black and white, going fuzzy in certain places. She looked puzzled for a moment, until her face turned into a full on smile, her hands shaking, making the device shake

"W-What?" Wayne started to speak, but the doctor held up her hand to silence him, the smile never fading from her face

"I think a congratulations is in order Mr. Knight" the doctor spoke, her eyes glittering up with amusement that Kendall didn't really like "you're pregnant"

The words hung in the air for a moment as Kendall's heart froze, completely stopped beating as a cold flush pulsed through his body. His eyes widened with the news, his whole body beginning to shake and tremble as the news continued to roam around his mind, repeating itself

_"Your pregnant!" _the doctor's words was the last thing he heard before everything went black, his legs buckling underneath him as he gave up the fight to stay conscious, his body falling slowly to the floor, as if he was sinking. He barely felt hitting the floor

* * *

Disclaimer: Hope you enjoyed this chapter :D

I've signed up for a princes trust thing, so err I might not be able to update the chapters for a while! Please be patient with me for 12 months because that's how long its going to be. I'll honestly try to type up the chapters when I have time :D I'm sorry

DoomedPhsyx2030


	8. Chapter 8

Kendall's p.o.v

Muffled voice broke into his subconscious, dragging him painfully back to reality

Did he forget to mention that he didn't want to come back? Knowing that he was somehow pregnant, which he thought was impossible for a _male! _Which Kendall knew he was. The other horrific thing was that Wayne had gotten him pregnant, the bastard that had raped him in his bedroom, it caused a shiver to creep violently up his spine, shivering his whole body. The covers underneath him quivered underneath his back, rustling as Kendall shook

"Mr Knight?" a soft voice called out to him, sincere and loud enough to jar his eyes to burst open. The room was blurred when Kendall first open his eyes, the white walls clear in his vision even though it was blurred

"I-I'm okay" Kendall rasped, his throat horribly dry like sandpaper, making talking difficult. He tried to sit up, his hand subconsciously going to his stomach as if to protect the unborn child inside him - even though he didn't want to admit it was there - but hands pushed him back down onto the bed, cooing simple words that he should have listen to

"You shouldn't move, Mr Knight" the nurse spoke with a smile "you've passed out, and you need to get up slowly to make sure that it doesn't happen again" a sudden pressure at the back of his back forced a pained moan to escape, Kendall squinted his eyes with the pain as the nurse forced Kendall to lift up half of his body

"Is he okay?" Wayne's voice came out of no where in the room, Kendall flinched as if Wayne had hit him, the nurse never seemed to notice. A beaming smile crept on her face, and when Kendall looked, it shocked him to the core at who he was looking at

The woman looked exactly like Wayne, her eyes a dark, haunting brown that cut into people with just one stare. Her facial expression was one of amusement, her eyes never remained on Kendall, but instead looked at Wayne as if she knew what had happened. Their eyes met, and it was like they were talking telepathically, having a silent conversation between themselves, and it worried Kendall

"So" she spoke after a while, her tone dull and drawn out "this is your boyfriend?" she never questioned Kendall, only Wayne. Her tone was still dull and emotionless, but that was all Kendall could really hear, maybe Wayne could hear something else deep within her tone since she was his mother

"Yeah, that's right. I love Kendall with all my heart" Kendall heard the lie, heard the way Wayne made the words sound like he was being extremely sarcastic, drawing out the words, making them longer

"And you're lucky. You both are having a baby together" she smiled at Wayne, scowled at Kendall as if he was a piece of meat. The next nine or so months will be tricky, especially if this woman standing before him was going to be the nurse for _his _child. Kendall would never accept Wayne as the child's father, considering how it was...Kendall shivered, wrapping his arms around his body to try to maintain some sort of warmth. No one noticed how Kendall began to shiver, the nurse and Wayne were talking quietly in the corner as if telling each other a big secret

"Let's get you gone so that you can look after your child" the woman never looked at Kendall, giving Wayne a small kiss on the cheek and gently shoving him out of the door, a piece of paper in his hand as he shut the door behind him

"You will give Wayne what he wants" the nurses tone turned dark, nasty as she turned to stare at Kendall with an evil look cast within her dark eyes. Her upper lip was raised with the snarls that were roaring from her throat

"W-What does he want?" Kendall couldn't stop the stutter from escaping, making him sound small

"He wants _you!" _she snarled 'you' as if it was something sour and disgusting in her mouth that she needed to spit out. She almost did spit out a little spittle all over him, he flinched as if she had struck him

"Why does he want me?" Kendall asked in a timid voice, shrinking back away from the nurse that was really beginning to terrify him

"Because, somehow, you're making him happy" she snarled, her eyes growing dark towards Kendall. She looked like she wanted to smack Kendall in the cheek, because he was taking Wayne away from him

"You can go now" she hissed

* * *

Wayne's p.o.v

He waited in the reception, slumped into the metal chair waiting for his new boyfriend

Yeah that's right! Kendall Knight from Big Time Rush was now - in Wayne's mind - his official boyfriend, and Wayne didn't care if Kendall did not agree

The only problem was James Diamond, who would try to stop Wayne. Especially if he knew what he had done to Kendall, even though Wayne was completely innocent, it was harmless fun that became something serious. Kendall had gotten pregnant, but that was his fault, because he never told him that he could

So, all in all, everything that was happening was Kendall's fault, and Wayne would make sure that Kendall knew that. Even if he was pregnant

* * *

Disclaimer: God I am so sorry about this chapter being so short. I've got a lot planned for the next chapter (I hope anyway)

I'm just so busy with life (I know I keep saying this, but its honestly true) I mean I've managed to get a job finally working with animals WOOOOOOOOO! But its only for the summer months, and maybe not for all of the days in the week

And I've got the princes trust

Hope you enjoyed this iWasDumbSorry :)


	9. Chapter 9

Oh good god I am so sorry for how long this has taken me to update all of my stories! I've been so busy with the prince's trust, and its my last week this week. So now I will be able to type up my fanfics. Woooo!

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Kendall's p.o.v

The stupid lump in-between his hips was getting bigger, and no matter which shirt he wore - mostly baggy - to hide his shame, it wouldn't hide the bump that was so obviously Kendall being pregnant. Someone would notice the strange bump, females noticing that the bump was perfectly round, never looking fat nor disgusting - except to Kendall -

No, it was the shame that had been inflicted on him, without him being able to do anything about it. He had to endure getting. . .Getting. . .

Kendall couldn't say the word, couldn't get it past the new hard, solid lump that formed in his throat when he tried to speak the word. It never rasped out of his throat, not a single sound. Kendall stared down at his bare stomach, noticing right away the stupid lump that was slowly making him depressed and wanting to kill the baby inside him

But how could he do that to the small child inside him? Even though it was created during rape, in a relationship that would begin and end with Kendall getting abused by Wayne Wayne, it was completely innocent in the fiasco that was Kendall's stupid, pointless life! No one except Wayne Wayne knew about Kendall being pregnant, not even his band mates, who were meant to be like brothers to the youngest member of Big Time Rush. They never noticed the sickness, the drastic change in Kendall when someone touched him he flinched away, having to bite onto his lip to stop a whimper. The memories were just too fresh for Kendall's liking, too vivid and skin deep, just waiting for a moment to strike when Kendall was feeling low and vulnerable

Much like right now, staring down at the innocent child inside him with a longing look of disgust and hate, clenching his hands at his sides in an attempt to not squish his stomach together and kill the _thing _inside him

"Kendall?" Kendall flinched away from the mirror, taking a large step back so he wasn't touching anything, being slap bang in the middle of the room so temptation was not going towards trying to kill the baby, and possibly himself in the process. But wouldn't that solve the problem he's been having? Getting out of the abusive relationship that was slowly eating away at him

"I-I'm coming!" Kendall called back, and for a moment he glanced back into the mirror to check to see if there were any sort of signs that he had cried and sobbed in the bathroom. A pair of broken, glassy dull green eyes stared back at him through the mirror, desperate for any sort of escape away from his life, but he fumbled for the lock on the wooden door to swing open the door and talk to the person on the other side. However, after the person behind the door heard the lock slide back into place, the door swung open with a wild amount of force, slamming into the tiles.

A fist collided into Kendall's cheek, the force knocking him to the floor because of the impact, his head smashing into the floor tiles enough to send stars flashing in his vision. There was another horrible sound of a fist hitting flesh, but the stinging sensation never hit Kendall. He had very slowly gotten used to the abuse Wayne threw at him, numbing his body enough to only hear the horrible sounds that emitted from fists hitting his flesh. Unfortunately, after the beating was finished, the pain would slowly register for Kendall, and he would have to grit his teeth as hard as he could - which meant that he would gain a headache right in his temples - to not allow a whimper of pain to come from his bloody mouth. If any sound came from Kendall as Wayne slapped him around, the beating would continue until he was either knocked unconscious, or Kendall never whimpered

It was savage, brutal, but Wayne never cared about Kendall. He slowly got more and more angry about the situation, beating Kendall to the floor. But there was an emotion that was never shown towards Kendall, but towards the lump that was growing at his hips. His grey steel eyes would always lighten up with a new light, a happy glint glowing only for a moment but soon diminished, extinguished as soon as Wayne looked into Kendall's green eyes. The hate rid in those eyes was something that always made him look away first, being submissive just enough for Wayne to ignore him and walk away

However, sometimes Kendall was not that lucky. To be honest it did depend on what type of mood Wayne was in, and how much Kendall decided to piss Wayne off - this was never intentional, why would it be? Why would Kendall want Wayne to beat him senseless while he was pregnant? Didn't Wayne care that Kendall was pregnant

"Why should I care?" Wayne sneered, the words slow through gritted teeth. It was like Wayne read his mind, saw the amount of hurt and terror that flashed in his green eyes, the ones he saw moments ago "You're pathetic Kendall" That was followed by Wayne smacking Kendall across the face with his fist, to show the amount of hate rid Wayne was feeling towards the youngest Big Time Rush member

"I'm not pathetic!" Kendall shouted, however he never rose his head to scream the words directly in Wayne's face "and I'm not your boyfriend" Kendall whispered the last word, walking out of the bathroom looking submissive. His head was low, shoulders slumped, dragging his feet across the carpet almost to the front door. That was until Wayne spoke, freezing Kendall in the spot

Soon, his blood ran cold at the words Wayne spoke, because, deep inside himself, Kendall knew that they were going to happen. And Kendall couldn't stop them no matter what

* * *

James' p.o.v

He watched Carlos run around the living room with a big grin on his face

Running around away from Logan, holding his favourite book high above his head and laughing as Logan cursed and howled to force Carlos to give him his book back

"Jaaaaames!" Logan whined loudly, drawing James' name out to make it much more annoying. James only laughed harder, taking a large bite out of the pie he had in his lap, burning his legs slightly from the heat

"Logan" James started "you've got to learn to take care of yourself" James took a victory bite out of his pie, slowly pulling the folk out of his mouth

"Kendall would help!" Logan suddenly shouted, but the mood soon turned cold, like the room had soon become a vacuum, sucking all the air out of the room leaving them gasping. Carlos' mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for breath, Logan's face had gone much more pale than ever

"Where is Kendall anyway?" Carlos asked, sounding innocent with the question.

James' mind went back to before, when Kendall had gone with Wayne to god knows where. He had not seen Kendall's face, because said boy was in front of him when he was walking away, but James had seen Wayne's face. The stupid cocky smile lighting up both his face and eyes in a very freaky way. Just staring at it for a moment sent shivers crawling across James' whole body, so how did Kendall deal with it being Wayne's boyfriend? When did it happen?

James shook his head, getting rid of the thoughts as Logan and Carlos spoke between each other, giving different ideas about where Kendall was and who he was with. For a moment James could guess where Kendall was

_"With Wayne" _James' mind whispered, a stabbing pain directly in his heart making him want to run to protect Kendall, but he couldn't. Not without Wayne watching over Kendall like he owned him. James could feel the anger course through his veins like fire, an unnatural feeling that left James feeling very angry and frustrated all morning. He mostly took it out on his breakfast, sloshing the milk around the bowl with the spoon to get a good spoon full of the milky delight, it didn't cheer James up though

He ended up snapping at Carlos, which was the worst thing James could have done all day. The Latino boy was a big ball of energy, ignoring everything that was happening with Kendall, James almost ended up screaming at the future doctor too! But seeing the look of hurt flash across the deep brown innocent eyes of Carlos, James' mouth soon snapped closed. Logan glared only for a moment, until he tried to comfort Carlos, promising him that he would take him out to get some corndogs

That soon cheered Carlos up, but there was still a look of hurt that wouldn't vanish from those eyes. James could still see the look, and it stung him, because he had seen that one look before, but instead of deep brown eyes, it had been light green eyes that had tried to warn him

"We've got to get to Rocque Records" Logan announced suddenly, pocketing his phone inside his jean pocket, biting his lower lip

"What's the matter?" James asked, standing next to Carlos to watch Logan as he shifted from one foot to another

"Gustavo's mad, I mean really mad" Logan whispered "Griffin wants the new song to be ready by next week, or else. Gustavo wants us all there" Logan looked directly in James' eyes, asking where Kendall was without even questioning out loud. James stared straight back

"We better text Kendall to get him to meet us at Rocque Records!" Carlos' voice knocked James and Logan out of their staring contest, looking at Carlos as he text on his phone. He quickly put his phone back inside his pocket fast, not telling Logan or James what he had put in the message, he only smirked, walking out of the room quickly

* * *

Gustavo was not in a good mood when they walked down the long hall to his office. He was yelling at Kelly, who looked like she was going to blow a casket with anger. Kelly's face was scrunched up in anger, but she kept her mouth tight, lips in a thin line to stop herself from yelling right back. Kelly must have known that Gustavo was stressed about Big Time Rush's new song that needed to come out soon, or Griffin was going to finish BTR for good

"DOGS!" Gustavo bellowed in his loud, obnoxious voice, startling everyone in the room when he came bounding over with heavy footsteps - probably just to yell at them -

"Where is Kendall?" Gustavo spoke, gritting his teeth just waiting for the pathetic answer that would come out their mouths. Each boy remained quiet, each shuffling their feet with the nerves. However, Carlos flinched as his phone vibrated loudly in his phone, his hand diving straight inside his pocket to fish it out

"A message from Kenda. . ." Carlos' speech faded as his eyes scanned the text, his eyebrows knitting together the more he scanned the screen

"It says: Sorry guys I can't come to Gustavo's, got more important things to do than stupid music. Kendall" Carlos' mouth kept repeating the words on the screen, as if he himself couldn't understand the message behind it. That single text did not sound anything like what Kendall would say, Kendall loved music with a passion. He wouldn't give it up for anything, nor anyone, especially a stupid new boyfriend

But would James' mind allow him to accept that piece of evidence? To try to find out why Kendall was acting this way?

Oh no, instead James freaked out

James started to scream and shout, overpowering Gustavo's own rant as he grabbed any object that was within reach of his hands, throwing it across the room with the fury he was feeling

"How could he do this to us! How could he be so selfish! I can't believe Kendall of all people would do this to us! I hate him" James whispered the last part, blinking rapidly to try to get rid of the tears stinging his eyes, but they only dribbled from his eyes and down his cheeks like a river, it was mostly in frustration. James never knew Kendall to be selfish, he always put others first before himself, but maybe that had been a very good act he put in place to fool them all, showing his true colours

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

He walked into the apartment, half expecting everyone else to be there waiting for him, to ask him where he had been. Instead he was met with silence, the only sound coming from the T.V that everyone was huddled around, too engrossed in whatever was on the screen, it hurt Kendall to be ignored like this, but if he was not quick Wayne would come after him, and Kendall didn't know if he could go through with another beating. His jaw already hurt from getting smacked in the first place by his 'boyfriend' it cracked when he moved his jaw

"Hello Kendall" James spoke with such venom in his voice that Kendall flinched away from the sofa, going towards the kitchen to circle around the table so that James didn't turn around and slap him

_"Would James do that? Would he turn into Wayne?"_ Kendall asked himself, but the sound of his voice was what Kendall was going off from. And it sounded like he really hated Kendall for something. Could it have been that text that Wayne sent because he heard his phone go off in his pocket? Had Carlos spoken the words and said something to the other about it? What had happened?

"Guys listen. I'm really sorry about the text, you see..." Kendall was cut off by James, who suddenly jumped off the sofa and stomped towards Kendall with fire burning bright inside his eyes. The hazel eyes looked murderous, and if looks could kill, Kendall probably would have been buried twice

"How is music more important than our music career!" James asked in a venomous tone, spitting out the words

"J-James, listen I-I'm l-living with..." again Kendall was cut off by James raising his arms in the air with an angry grunt of frustration. He missed the way Kendall flinched, trying to press himself against the cabinates behind him so that he was not in arms length near James, who was going red in the face with anger. Kendall's hands were trying not to lift up towards the lump at his stomach, to seek comfort from the lump that Kendall was going to have to love

"I suggest you get out of my sight, before I do something stupid that I regret" James snarled, turning his back on Kendall, probably giving the others a look to force them to turn away without a word. Logan and Carlos remained glued to the sofa, Logan was staring into James' eyes looking scared to disobey James. But Carlos was looking at Kendall with an innocent look, his brown eyes glancing around Kendall's face, stopping at the bruise on his cheek that Wayne inflicted which both James and Logan missed

"I'm leaving anyway" Kendall whispered, eyes downcast to not look in anyone's eyes, something Wayne had forced Kendall to do "I'm living with Wayne, not as if any of you care" Kendall raised his voice at the last part, emphasizing the part where Kendall knew the others didn't care. No one moved to stop him from walking into the shared room with James, throwing his suitcase he kept under his bed onto the sheets covering his bed with disdain and heartbreak. He shoved anything he could inside the suitcase, bunching everything up and quickly slamming the lid of the case on top and zipping it up quickly. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes, but he continued to blink them back, not wanting to show any sort of weakness towards James, who looked like he still wanted to kill Kendall for everything

"I-I'll see you around" Kendall spoke in a quiet voice, his head low and shoulders slumped in defeat of no one trying to stop him from walking away from everyone into an abusive relationship. Someone slammed the door behind him so hard that the door shuddered with the force, pushing Kendall further into the hall. He tried not to allow the pain in his heart to come to the surface enough so that the tears streaked down his cheeks as he walked back to Wayne's apartment with a heavy heart, dragging his suitcase - that had twisted off the wheels to dig into Kendall's hand and make it uncomfortable - behind him, barely keeping a good, tight grip on the handle.

The wooden door at Wayne's apartment opened wide, inviting Kendall inside. The room was dark, creepy looking as the curtains were drawn closed not allowing any light into the room except from the door. Wayne's muscular figure was barely noticeable within the dark room, unless you were like Kendall and knew where to look. It had not taken Kendall very long to notice Wayne's figure

"Come in sweetheart, we have much to talk about"

Right inside the four walls that would know what type of pain Kendall was feeling through the abuse, but unable to speak out for Kendall and tell people about their abusive relationship

One that might kill him, or force him into killing himself

Even if he was pregnant, killing an innocent life

* * *

Disclaimer: iWasDumbSorry: God I am so sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I hope its good enough for you! I love you :)

Hope its good enough for everyone actually

Love DoomedPhsyx2030


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